Mar 08, 2016

My Love/Hate Relationship With Breastfeeding

by Holly Madison | Lifestyle, Motherhood | 22Comments


  1. Everyone is different, if we were the same we would be all androids. How boring would that be. Yes, breasting feeding is very painful, especially in the beginning, those little precious people, have suction power, and when the teeth start coming, oh boy…hurts. I breast fed all my babies, and they quit at different stages. Oldest one, nine months, he preferred drinking out of a cup. Second one, 10 months, he was born with teeth, that disappeared. Thankfully. And the youngest, 11 months, she did not want to quit. But the teeth, made me break her of the habit, as I was working a full time job, to support all three. Would never change anything, they are grown responsible adults. With families of their own, making me a grandmother, and now for a the past five years, a great grandma.
    Congratulations, on the new baby Holly, you are at the top of my list of being a great Mom.

  2. Thank you for this, for I too am someone who doesn’t like to breastfeed. I just had my third baby (all boys) and all 9.5 pounds of him, and I can’t keep up with the demand. I have fought off cracked and bleeding nipple and the thought of him getting close to my breast, makes me shake with pain. So I pump when I can and supplement with formula. Do I feel bad? Sometimes, but I know that I am doing what’s best for both of us!! Good for you for making it that long and congrats on the new baby to come. We as women should be lifting each other up, no matter the situation, not knocking each other down!! Lots of love!!

  3. Thank you for sharing your experience! I’ve been fortunate enough to breastfeed my little one for almost 22 months (I’m cutting her off when she turns 2!) But I feel the same way…it’s not at all “magical” or enjoyable for me and I’m ready to be done! Everyone is different and you should be so proud of yourself for reaching your goal, and planning on doing it again with baby #2. Way to go, mama!

  4. Hi Holly.
    My first experience with breastfeeding was awful!! It hurt, I cracked and it was just painful. I did for less than a month. My son was a 9 pounder and too greedy. Now for my second boy breastfeeding was a breeze. It was just an amazing experience. I was only able to do it for 2 months because I had to go back to work. But it was great. It will vary from child to child. Kids are very different and so are the experiences we will have with them. You are a great mom. Keep up the good work.

  5. To each their own I guess. Everyone has their own story. For me it took me three babies to be comfortable breastfeeding in public uncovered. My first two I only breastfed 2-3 months because I struggled with my milk supply and sore nipples, which I used a nipple shield to prevent (I came to the conclusion that the nipple shield decreased my supply). My third I am happy to say I have breastfed for 9 1/2 months and we’re still going. I have to say I love this experience. I still struggled at first but I was able to push through the couple weeks of sore breasts (nipple cream helped so much) and after that baby girl figured out how to latch without hurting me and we’ve been fine ever since. I love being close to her, her falling asleep in my arms, comforting her, the convenience of having milk ready for her whenever she wants. I don’t regret my experiences with my other children, they were wonderful in their own ways but I think I would regret not having one child who I successfully nursed. That’s my experience. Glad you’ve figured out what’s best for your baby.

    1. I think it’s a really different experience for everyone and we should all be empowered to do what is best for ourselves and our babies. TY!

  6. Thank you for you honesty Holly, I wish more moms would be brave enough to say things like this! I have a 14 month old and we are down to 1 nursing session a day and I can’t wait for her to be weaned completely! I used to think there was something wrong with me, like my maternal wiring was off because I didn’t get a warm snuggly feeling from breastfeeding. Leaky boobs, pumping, obsessing over how much milk is in your freezer, missing out on half your closet, worrying about something you ate effecting your baby….I can go on! I find a lot of women trying to justify an end to their breastfeeding journey – low supply, illness, etc. You can put me in the “over it” category! #momswhohatebreastfeeding 🙂

  7. Wow, I thought I was the only one who felt this way! I’m a first time mom & my son is 10 months old. He is still breastfeeding & even though this may sound really bad, I can’t wait for it to be over! It’s hurt from the beginning, I’ve never had the best supply & I was bummed when I wasn’t filling my freezer with endless bags of milk. I congratulate you & anyone who breast feeds or makes an attempt at it because for some it is uncomfortable. Thank you Holly! Congrats on #2!! <3

  8. FINALLY a celebrity opening up and being honest that breastfeeding isn’t for everyone! I had similar feelings as you on the subject but was met with harsh statements from others. I saw in the end if it works for you great but we shouldn’t judge those who it doesn’t!

  9. Such a well-written (and funny) depiction of exactly what breastfeeding is! I always tell people it’s a million times harder than pregnancy, labor and birth. I’m currently breastfeeding my second baby…he’s 3.5 months old and I plan to make it to a year like I did with my first. I too, can’t do it in public – I’m too uncoordinated, my boobs are too big, and I just don’t feel comfortable. Kudos to you for meeting your goal with beautiful Rainbow and best wishes for your new little one on the way. xx, Britt

  10. I can’t agree more. I was obsessed with being able to breastfeed for a year. In the end, I made it about 7 months. I was pumping 4 hours a day just to meet my son’s daily feeding requirements. It was awful…..and I felt like a POS because I still had to supplement him with formula.

    Your reality check, Holly, is honest and fresh. Thank you!

  11. LOVE your honesty!! My daughter is 18 months, still breastfeeding and I am at the point now where I feel I need to stop for my own sanity. I totally get what you are saying!!

  12. Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. My daughter is 10 months old and my goal is one year. Do I enjoy it? Not really. But I do it for my daughter. I don’t get why people have to shame moms for not breastfeeding. I understand why moms decide not to continue with this journey.

    By the way, I am completely awkward with the public nursing. I do not know how people can do it discretely.

  13. I literally can’t thank you enough for also putting your hand up and saying it wasn’t really the best experience for you. I felt so awkward/exposed/embarrassed myself and personally wouldn’t even breastfeed next time. There needs to be more women unashamed to admit that. I felt so alone at the time (my daughter Sadie is almost two now). And was so judged.

    By the way, I am loving your open and honest blog. I have laughed so much thinking to myself “oh my god that’s what I thought!” Or “no way, same!”, almost like you’ve been reading my mind.

  14. Congrats on making it to your goal with your daughter! I have three daughters and each one I’ve had completely different breast feeding experiences with. My first I set a goal for four months (like you!) and we made it. My second I hoped to breast feed for longer but she couldn’t latch (learned later it was because of her thick upper frenulum)…I pumped for 8 months for her…whew that was hard. My third daughter I just hoped to breast feed and not have to pump….the beginning was so hard and I hated it but magically it got easy and well she decided to breast feed for three years. I never ever expected to be the mom of a toddler who literally asked for “Milky”. Well now my breast feeding journey is over and I miss it but I like having boobs to myself again too! You seem like a great mom and its obvious you love your daughter….that’s what matters!

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